I used to think it was patently unfair that when it came to puberty, boys were rewarded with (wet) sex dreams and girls were punished with periods. Imagine my surprise when I had my first sex dream at 16. I woke up flushed and excited with a heaping, steaming side of Catholic girl guilt. Over the years I have had them here and there, but nothing really consistent until this last year when sexy thoughts started invading my subconscious (YAY!!!!). My only thought was, why?
Are women having lots of sex dreams or not? Or are we just not admitting them?
Forty years ago, some studies suggested that women dreamt about sex rarely. However, a 2007 study out of Montreal claims that 8% of all dreams have some sort of sexual activity involved. What else did this study uncover? Women are more likely to dream about real-life sexual partners and celebrities. What are they doing in these dream? Most are having sexual intercourse with these lusty partners and at least four percent are orgasming in their dreams.
What do sex dreams mean — Because with us women, nothing just is what it is, right?
Antonio Zadra, Ph.D., the study’s author, said that it might, “reflect the dreamer’s waking state and concerns” and “…may be indicative of different waking needs, experiences, desires, and attitudes with respect to sexuality.” So, my sex dream(s) about Tom Hiddleston may be my subconscious longing for a really great dance partner or a break from my usual brunette, bearded beaus? Could it mean I want to make a big move across the pond? Maybe. Or maybe I watched Midnight in Paris before bed with some Prosecco and then a lip-smacking F. Scott Fitzgerald dream emerged. Well, until my alarm c*ck-blocked me before I could join the four percent of women having a real happy ending. Which brings me too…
Can you go back to a sex dream or make one happen?
Lucid dream experts say you can. I, being the curious scientific guinea pig I am, tried it out. Here is how it works. Now it is SUPER complicated so get your notepad.
Ummm…just think about what you want to dream about before bed.
Does it work? It worked two out of seven days for me. How did I get it to work? I didn’t eat several hours before bed. I printed out of few pictures of my chosen imaginary paramour and put them around my apartment so I would “run into him” while I was writing, opening the refrigerator, doing laundry, etc. Then I just thought about him and what kind of potentially illegal (in a good way) situation I might find myself in with him. I also meditated and cleared my mind for 15 minutes before bed so I was primed for action. I tried a different dude each night (scandalous, I know). I kept to only celebrities in some form or fashion as I didn’t want to worry about my data skewing over past relationships. I was doing it for science afterall.