Sleepovers as an adult aren’t at all what we’re used to growing up as kids. There are no pillow fights, no perfect circumstances and most of the time; the first sleepover with the person you’re dating or are in a relationship with is awkward AF. There’s good news though- there is a way to make the best of it even in the midst of those awkward and shame worthy moments.
Here is your how to guide on how to master the art of the adult sleepover.
Drop your expectations.
First things first, when two adults spend the night together, you can’t have any expectations simply for the fact that you’re both grown-ups with your own set of quirks and habits that will never work in perfect harmony, especially right off the bat. Refrain from imagining the perfect snuggle fest on the couch followed by slow and steamy sex with candlelight because you’re sure to be disappointed in most cases. Go into it blindly and let the night unfold naturally.
Pack your essentials.
If you know in advanced that you’re spending the night, make sure you take everything you need with you so that you’re not freaking out about your awful morning breath or smelling like last nights’ Chinese take-out. Pack your pajamas, toothbrush, and any makeup items you might need, a change of clothes, your toiletry needs and your dignity and be on your merry little way.
Make yourself a “just in case” kit to keep in your purse.
For those surprise sleepovers that you didn’t expect to have, a little piece of mind in your purse will make all the difference. A change of underwear, a travel toothbrush and a few key makeup items will help you to keep your shit together in the morning when you start to panic about what the person next to you might think.
Discuss the morning after plans if you can.
No one likes a sleepover where you’re rushed out the door first thing after waking up or spending the entire afternoon together when you weren’t prepared for any of it so make sure the two of you discuss the day after plans if possible. Are you staying for breakfast? Will you need an extra change of clothes if you go out and grab lunch or an afternoon matinee together? Sometimes those little details can make all the difference for your sense of comfort and ease.
Think about your bathroom strategy.
Okay, let’s not be shy here, we all KNOW it happens and let’s face it, the first sleepover is super awkward when it comes to your bathroom habits, especially these days when washrooms are in close proximity in smaller housing situations. Ladies, we need to stop pretending we aren’t human but if you must insist on ruining for the rest of us who remain politely discreet yet human, here’s my fool proof trick. While you’re running the shower in the morning, do your business, flush and hop into the shower. If mornings aren’t your thing, encourage your date to play some music in the main space or wait until they’re sleeping-preferably snoring like a Brontosaurus. Your fellow sleepover companion will be none the wiser.
If you’re hosting, prepare your home accordingly.
Not only should your home be tidy and guest worthy if you’re the one hosting said adult sleepover, you should also be accommodating to lessen the awkwardness. Have food on hand for breakfast and snacks and make sure you have plenty of beverages to drink. You’re hosting an adult sleepover after all- not a keg party. You should have this down.
Be your damn self.
A sleepover is an intimate experience that should always bring you closer together whether it’s the first time or the 50th time. You don’t need to cover up who you truly are when it comes to your night time and morning routine. If you pass out on the couch mid movie night after night- so be it. If you sleep talk about the latest episode of The Good Wife, that’s fine too. Mastering the art of the adult sleepover means being yourself and finding another adult who works well with your quirks.
Forgive your awkwardness.
You’re only human which means you’re bound to be awkward at some point around your fellow sleep-over mate and they may not necessarily get you but own it anyways. You are who you are and you can’t beat yourself up over exposing the real and raw moments that make up who you are. Stand in your own truth, darling. Life is short.
Embrace the struggle.
Though the art of the adult sleepover may take a while to completely master, you’ll get there eventually. For the most part, enjoy each and every terrifying, embarrassing, hilarious and joyful moment. After all, you’re just two human beings having a sleep-over. It’s only a big deal if you make it one.