With the advent of new technologies, new ways to communicate emerge. One of the most creative for texting is the emoji. Over six billion emojis are sent on mobile apps every day. Sometimes a thumbs up or cat with heart eyes is worth a thousand words. Emojis are helping with the issue of tone in text. When is tone especially important? During your period of course.
Here is a short guide to communicating during your period with your friends, your lover, or basically anyone else in the world. Ask for help, give a warning, or just let someone know where your head is at during Red Dawn.
Here are few ideas to get you started:
“Ugh, it’s that time of the month.”
“Exhale – the period has arrived.” Sometimes a “whoops” makes us happy to see our periods.
“I pooped for the first time in 4 days. I have never felt so unburdened.” Period Poops…it’s a thing.
“Ghost period in progress…is it here, is it gone? No one knows.” When you think you are done, but you don’t want to get too hopeful.
“I am praying you will bring me pizza and make me happy again.” Pizza = Happiness.
“I know I have some tampons around here somewhere…” You never know how close you are to being Sherlock Holmes until you can’t find a tampon.
“You open the key to my heart with tacos…bring them home.” Because tacos are everything.
” We have hit the half-way mark! Celebration time!”
“Status: Fetal Position”
“The world can kiss my ass.” Not exclusively for use with periods, but maybe used most during this time.
“I’m a horny; get home fast for action!”
“Calling in sick with my period. Don’t judge me.” Don’t act like you haven’t done it.
“Things I feel as big as.”
“F&#% you, jeans. F&#% you.” When the jeans won’t cooperate, call upon your inner Kill Bill Uma Thurman.
“Another pair of panties shot.” Casualties happen no matter how prepared you are.
“SOS…need Pamprin.” It’s a cause for emergency.
While creativity is always encouraged, I am still anxiously awaiting the “Period Emoji” line. I would be sure to include various zone flags, creatively drawn feminine hygiene products (I would love to see a tampon with Groucho Marx glasses), funny animated one-liners like, “I’m hanging by a string,” and various metaphorical representations of Aunt Flo, Eve’s Curse, and Riding the Red River. Until then, we will just have to MacGyver it.