Stop. Before you open your mouth to speak to someone on their period; just stop. Because when we’re in the red zone, it’s best to move with caution.
We get that periods can foster a certain touchiness and it’s our responsibility to tame the PMS beast, but your help can go a long way. Avoid using these phrases (and variations thereof) with someone on their period (see also: always) and it will surely minimize the potential damage to your relationship.
Are you on your period?
Seems like a harmless question, but it’s a loaded one and it’s better left un-asked. You can’t win. If we aren’t on our period, it’s like a non-subtle insinuation that we are acting erratic; if we are on our period, it is THE SAME THING, only couched in fake concern.
Never say this, ever. It’s aggressive, condescending and oh, so infuriating. To minimize someone’s emotions is dangerous territory, notably when our hormones are doing their period thing, better to offer a helping hand and maybe a bag of candy.
If you have to ask, you know we are not. You’ve intuited some upset within us and although it may seem confusing, asking if we are okay will actually upset us more. 1. Because you KNOW we are not. 2. Because asking doesn’t equally solution. A real solution would be an act of kindness and compassion; and maybe something chocolate.
What’s wrong with you?
Nothing. We are experiencing a total normal function of the female body and we would thank you for letting us live and not making us feel like some monster, because we already feel that way and you pointing it out IS NOT HELPFUL.
You’re acting crazy.
Crazy is a major buzz word in relationships, as in life. It’s both vague and loaded, it can mean so many things and harkens back to the era when women were called hysterical for having wants and needs (not too far back…). It’s another act of aggressive patronizing and will do major damage.
Are you still bleeding?
Again, if you have to ask, the answer is clear. Yes, we are still bleeding and that’s not something we’re super excited to discuss, hence why we didn’t bring it up in conversation with you. Ok, thanks.
If you stumble upon some reminisce of our period, just move on with your life. Pointing out that the tampon is bloody or some other ingenious observation is bound to ignite rage. Just say no to your childish impulses and walk away.
You really want to eat all of that?
A savvy individual will know by this point in adulthood that making mention of what we’re eating is never a good idea. Plus it’s none of your damn business. Having cravings associated with PMS is no joke and you’d best serve yourself and your relationship if you stayed away from comments about portion control. And yes, we DO want all of these snacks.