FYI Relationships sex

Want a Better Sex Life? A Great Place to Start is Masturbation

Masturbation

Want a better sex life? Of course, we all do. Then, I strongly recommend masturbating. Although this pastime has a long history, it’s still too taboo to discuss in public even though; let’s be honest, it’s pleasurable and many of us often partake (or at least I hope).

Traditionally, as women, we have been taught that delighting ourselves is shameful and immoral but with sex toys, videos, and Internet porn being readily available, it’s safe to say masturbation isn’t going away any time soon. In fact, findings from a 2010 study of sexual behavior noted that more than half of adult women actively participated in a little solo action #treatyourself.

Women are embracing every facet of the “self-love” movement and as it turns out ladies, we’re not the only one to benefit from our DIY time.  Masturbation has been found to have a number of positive effects on our overall sex life.  Here’s a couple of ways it gets sparks flying:

Body Confidence

You spend more time than you care to admit scrolling through Instagram and posting to your Snapchat account but with endless exposure to digitally enhanced images of gorgeous women with slim waists and long legs it’s easy to experience moments of insecurity, and even get down on yourself for not measuring up. Having insight about how your body works, what it feels like, what gives you pleasure is often discovered through masturbation and can increase your self-confidence and improve your relationship with your body, particularly in the bedroom.  Your ability to express your desires and your heightened sense of adventure means more erotic love-making sessions exploring new positions and techniques (you can thank me later).

Rev Up Your Libido

It may be hard to believe but your solo play can actually increase your libido. The highs and lows of your sex drive coincide with your menstrual cycle peaking right before ovulation. This explains why you can’t seem to get enough of bae the first few weeks of the month but are so not into it right before your period arrives.  Orgasms from regular self-love sessions flood your body with endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin, the bonding hormone.  Higher levels of oxytocin lift your mood and make you want to spend more time cuddling with your partner leading to more touching, caressing and ultimately, that all-nighter that you’ve been fantasizing about!

The Big “O”

Adolescence is a period when many of us explore sex, our sexuality and first discover that awesome feeling from genital stimulation.  As it turns out, these early yet awkward sexual experiences help us as adults by improving our ability to become sexually aroused and achieve an orgasm. We often imagine that our sex life will be similar to what we see on-screen; you know, long-lasting, back-aching, love-making sessions ending with toe-curling ecstasy. In reality, only 65 percent of straight women have orgasms during sex compared to 95 percent of straight men.

Astonishing isn’t it?

The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior revealed that 85 percent of men reported that their partner climaxed during their most recent sexual event; interestingly enough, only 64 percent of the women surveyed reported the same. Let’s be real, the majority of women need clitoral stimulation to reach the big “o” but there’s no universal sex move to get you there.  Almost 64 percent of women preferred an up and down motion while 50 percent favored a circular movement.  To find out what’s most pleasing to you locate your clitoris and experiment with light or blunt pressure, rubbing, and tapping. You also have the option of getting your partner give you a hand (pun intended).

Sex Toys

Sex can be mind-blowing but not if you’re feeling unsatisfied, neglected, or bored.  Self-stimulation can greatly improve sexual satisfaction particularly if you are open to bringing toys into the mix! Vibrators have been around forever but have only become more readily available in recent years.  A study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine reported that more than half (52.5 percent) of adult women have ever tried using a vibrator and 46.3 percent of women admitted to using them during masturbation. If you prefer internal penetration, try using a dildo. They’re available in different shapes and sizes and are guaranteed to help you hit the right spot.  There’s no need to fumble with wires or search for batteries, dildos provide effortless satisfaction.  Spice things up by having your partner watch or help, preferably as often as possible.

Many activities can spice things up in the bedroom but none simpler than masturbation. It can get you out of your sexual rut and help you achieve that satisfying sex life you’ve been longing for.

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